Wanderlust

Today I took a drive. Partly because the weather was amazing (the perfect rainfall, very overcast) and partly because my one and a half year old would NOT go to sleep for his afternoon nap. I gathered my things, his things, keys and we ran to the car. After a short stop to feel the rain as it fell and savor the squeals of delight from my baby boy, we were buckled and ready to go.

It was perfect. The depth of green in the leaves of the trees brought out by the rain, the street, wet with rain, was a deep shiny black. Ahhhhhhhh...... I love driving.

My little one fell asleep before we were even five minutes from the house (of course), which gave me nothing but time..... time to drive. It was me, my thoughts, music and the road.

My thoughts have been at a standstill recently. So much swirling around but I have been unable to make peace with any of it. Things left unfinished, what I have started today and things I need to accomplish tomorrow. I don't really know where I am and only have a vague idea of where I want to end up.... not a particularly comfortable spot, but a far to familiar one.

I found it odd how many parallels I could draw between my thoughts and the road. People use the analogies everyday and they have become almost cliche` but they all seemed so very perfect today. I was driving down the roads on which I had learned to drive. The near ninety degree turn that taught me not to overcompensate upon loosing control. The steep gravel incline on which my Dad stopped the truck and told me it was my job to get us off that hill..... in a stick shift..... But with just the right amount of pressing forward with the gas and the perfect amount of letting go with the clutch I was able to top what seemed to be Mt. Everest. The open field, tucked away, just beyond the trees that my teenage self visited one hot summer night learning the dangers of letting someone else drive. It all came flooding into me.

Whatever it was..... the rain, the road, the music, the ability to have more than five minutes for just me....... I am grateful for it. I didn't get anything worked out, but that is fine. Somehow, I gained a little perspective on my trip. The only thing left for me to do now is figure out how to read this damn map........

until next time.....
be kind,
me