As I sit down to write, coffee in hand and sleepless night behind me, my mind goes blank. I question whether it is too many emotions or the lack of any feeling at all. I have never felt the way I do at this moment. I have been searching for the words to name the incessant ache that I carry. So far, it remains a nameless orphan; for I refuse to claim it. I feel helpless to the swirl of events that surround me. The power of being able to change anything at all being stolen from me by distance. At least that is what I am hoping. I can not let my mind entertain the thought that there was another reason. That what I thought existed was a figment of my imagination, being felt only by me. It wouldn't be the first time my heart fooled my mind but it is by far the worst. My hope is that the flame was too hot. Something beautiful but untouchable both metaphorically and physically. My fear is that the flame burnt out, or worse yet, was extinguished by something of my doing. The hardest part is not knowing. No, I am wrong. The hardest part is losing my friend.
until next time.....
be kind,
me
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3 comments:
I know it is not he same but I am your friend a better friend then I have ever been to you I truly know that.
Love your friend
KBR
excellent language...but content is tooooooo short....wanted more...
Good stuff, good thoughts, gooood writing! It's hard to name those emotions, but even if you're the only one who feels it, that doesn't mean it's not real.
Now, if you're the only one hearing voices...that's different!
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